Since young till now, I still dislike crowds.


Friday, September 9, 2011

faded Memories
♥; 5:03 PM

I am still afraid of looking out,
to face the outside world.



When i see you all smile like that.
Im holding back my breathe in.
Wondering if i have the day when i can smile like that.
I was born quiet.
Hard to open up.
To be the eldest among all siblings,
I have no one to look up to.
I have no one to follow.
No one to learn from.
That is when i start to only observe.
I rarely speak up.
I often question my smile.
Are they real?
I do not know.
Because im quiet,
I dont get people approaching me.
My friends do not know me that well.
Friendship end fast and dont last long.
I was the one to be left out among cliques.
They often talks about things that im not aware about.
I have problem being the center of attraction.
I have problem being loud and noisy.
I have problem being like you all.
Because i was molded this way by myself since young.
It was sad to see people enjoying themselves.
And all i can do is just to see from behind.
I hardly can last long in a talk.
What can i do?
Im born and nurture this way.
That is why i locked myself away from people.
I am afraid of falling.
I choose to stay in my own world,
Where i know i will never get hurt.
The chance where i took a step out of my world,
I fell badly.
It hurts so much.
Why? And no one know i cried.
Picking myself up with my skinned knees.
I choose to withdraw from the world.
Ever again....
Because all this things never failed to repeatedly happen to me....




!Sharalyn
I am still afraid of the crowds. i really do. I hate to be alone in crowded places.

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